RECAP: The Vampire Diaries 4x16 - "Bring it On"

Last time we saw Elena, her entire world had come crashing down in one fell swoop and as a result, she turned off her humanity rather than suffer through the pain. So let's do a math problem. What does a vampire - morals - conscience = ? Give up? A whole lot of shit for everyone.

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When the Humanity is Away, the Elena Will Play:
   It's been a few days now since Elena shut off the only part of her that was still human. Stefan thinks it may be best if Elena returns to school while he and Damon search for Katherine who is still missing with the cure.
   Back at school, Elena comes across a flyer for a cheerleading competition. She asks Caroline, the captain of the team, to have her back on the squad. She says it might be fun tossing people up in the air and waving pom-poms around. Uh huh...right.. Caroline says of course and isn't the least bit suspicious, especially since all she can think about is Tyler. In fact, she still calls him and leaves him updating messages even though she knows he won't answer or return her calls. Why do I get the feeling that these messages are going to end up in the wrong person's hands and cause a big mess? I digress.. To be on the safe side, Stefan and Caroline ask Damon to command that Elena not feed on the trip. Good plan.

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   Now on the team, Elena joins Caroline and the squad at the cheerleading competition. Even Stefan is there. Normal enough right? Well Elena has to go and fuck it up once more when she follows a cheerleader from a different school on to an empty bus, sucks her blood...and steals her blue ribbon? Elena returns to the gymnasium and runs into Caroline who realizes what has happened when she she spots the victim cheerleader rocking a scarf and lacking a blue ribbon that happens to be in Elena's hair. Wait, didn't Damon sire Elena not to feed at the competition? Looks like the sire bond isn't working now that her humanity has been shut off. Apparently her sire bond stems from her humanity and love for Damon and without that, Damon doesn't have much control over little Elena. 
   Caroline and Stefan are concerned about Elena but they don't have much time for that since the Mystic Falls cheerleading squad is up next. During the routine, Elena assists in launching Caroline up into the air but steps back and allows her body to come crashing down on to the ground. Good thing Caroline isn't human. While the crowd gathers around Caroline, Elena makes her escape outside. Stefan finds her and applauds her plan. She only wanted to be a cheerleader again so she could attend the competition outside of Mystic Falls to feed on people who haven't been consuming vervain. What a clever girl. Stefan walks her to his motorcycle and suggests they take the party someplace more private, like an off-highway pub to feed. A large gymnasium could leave too many witnesses. Elena is suspicious but accepts. As Stefan tosses her his bike helmet, he attacks her with a needle full of vervain and knocks her out. 

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   Elena awakens in Stefan's bed back in Mystic Falls. She makes it very clear to him that he can't control her anymore when she texts the entire school to his house for a party. The house is swarming with under aged drinkers and Elena couldn't be happier. Stefan calls Caroline over to help him watch over Elena at the party. After watching Elena happily dance on a table, Caroline encourages Stefan to try and have some fun for a change like Elena and let loose. I'm pretty sure we can all agree that you two deserve a little fun. 
   The party is a success up until Caroline's mother, the sheriff, arrives. She bumps into Elena and asks for Stefan. When Elena responds with a snarky attitude, the sheriff threatens to shut the party down. This doesn't fly with Elena who grabs the sheriff and slams her against the door. Caroline rushes to her mother's defense and Elena runs away into the night. 

Looking for Answers:
   Haley, the young werewolf traitor, has been on the run since her true loyalty was revealed to be with Catherine. She asks Klaus to meet her at a truck stop far from town and asks for his protection. In return, she will give him information about Catherine. Klaus keeps his end of the bargain when a vampire attacks Haley at the truck stop. Klaus grabs him and bites him and lets the vampire run off to it's death. Klaus takes Haley back to his mansion and has Damon and Rebekah go off to question the dying vampire. 
   At the mansion, Klaus wines and dines Haley and asks her what Catherine promised her for her help in locating the cure. Haley tells him that Catherine had promised to help her find her real parents. Poor Haley has been an orphan all her life and has never known where she came from.

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   Damon and Rebekah investigate the truck stop Klaus and Haley had been at but find no sign of the injured vamp. Damon puts his smarts to the test and decides to check the local hospital. They look through the blood bank room and find no vampire and no blood bags. Hmm, strange. Next best idea? Set a trap. Damon bites a hospital employee and has her walk around the parking lot till the vampire bites the bait, literally. Doesn't take long for the dying vampire to catch the scent of fresh blood. Damon grabs the vampire and realizes it's an old friend of his named Will. Will begs for help so Damon does what Damon does, he rips his friends heart out to put him out of his misery.
   Rebekah calls Klaus and informs him that they have killed the dying vampire that is after Haley. He let's Haley know and gives her the option to stay with him in the mansion or to go roam free. Perhaps it was the wine or perhaps it was their chat over a dark and twisted painting Klaus had created, but somehow...Haley and Klaus end up having crazy wild sex. Klaley anyone? Yeah, didn't think so..

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   After their crazy romping in the sack, Klaus notices a distinct birth mark in the shape of a crescent moon on the back of Haley's shoulder. He points out that all his life he has seen a small handful of people baring that mark. They were all from the same blood line. A werewolf clan that thrived in Louisiana. Could this be the family Haley has been looking for? Could Klaus really know her family's whereabouts? She wastes no time and begs for more information.








The Ambush and the Letter:

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   Stefan and Caroline search for Elena who has run away into the woods. They split up to cover more ground. Out of nowhere, Elena ambushes Caroline and a fight ensues between the two best friends. Elena has clearly won considering she received extra training with Alaric before he passed away. Just as Elena is about to stab Caroline in the back with a tree branch, Stefan and Damon interfere. 
   Damon harbors Elena up in his room to keep her away from Caroline. As he searches through old photos, and stumbles upon one of him and Will, he tries to lecture Elena into having more self control. Elena puts the charm on and tries to get Damon to admit he prefers her this way. 

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   Caroline is still shook up since her best friend nearly killed her. She receives a text message from Matt asking her to come over to Tyler's home. When she arrives, she discovers she is unable to enter until Matt gives her permission. He hands her a letter from Tyler that reads, he won't be coming back home while Klaus is out looking to kill him. He left Matt the deed to the home so that it can protect them in ways he cannot anymore. Oh, and he will always love Caroline. Just like that, it finally sinks in for Caroline. Tyler won't be coming back. 
   Stefan calls Damon, after receiving a phone call from the sheriff, explaining six blood banks within a 30 mile radius of Mystic Falls have reported missing blood bags. Someone is collecting blood and Stefan has a hunch it may be Silus who possibly followed them off the island. The first immortal has been blood free for over 2,000 years so he must be hella thirsty. Damon tells Stefan that he is too busy to discuss his suspicions and ends the conversation. We find him with Elena in the car heading to the city that never sleeps, New York City!

CHECK OUT NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE RIGHT HERE:

RECAP: Glee 4x16 - "Feud"

An explosion of truth, hope and jaw-droppers that will leave you wanting more. Questions will finally be answered and hopes will be raised in arguably the best episode of the season thus far. 

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Bye, Bye, Bye 'Cause I Want it that Way:
   Blaine, Tina and Artie sit down Mr. Schu and Finn in the choir room because they've noticed some hostility and feuding going on between them. Refusing to let their problems get in the way of regionals coming up, the kids assign the two their own assignment. Mr. Schu and Finn must sing a song together inspired by a classic musical rivalry. 
   Mr. Schu is trying to decide on the correct musical number for their performance for the glee club but Finn would rather try and talk it out. Mr. Schu is hesitant at first but Finn encourages him to be honest. Alright, you asked for it Finn. Here goes. Mr. Schu put Finn in charge of the glee club when he was gone because Finn was lost. He was dumped by his girlfriend, flunked out of the army and the real truth is, he took pity on him. What a low blow. He continues saying he put all his trust in Finn and when he finally got back on his feet, he betrays him in the worst possible way. He broke the bro-code. Sorry isn't going to cut it this time. Finn better start looking up some musical options because they are doing that assignment and Mr. Schu is ready to pounce.

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   After a few days of deep consideration, Mr. Schu and Finn decide to emulate the biggest pop culture feud of the 90's (other than Christina vs. Britney)...Backstreet Boys vs. N*Sync. The performance was sub-par and even after duking it out, Mr. Schu still can't seem to forgive Finn. Finn accepts it and realizes there is nothing he can do or say to win back his trust. A bromance has come to an end.






Katie is Now Offline:
   Ryder has been talking to a girl named Katie online for a about a week now and the two seem like a perfect match. She's hot, she's smart, and she doesn't mind his frequent spelling mistakes. He opens up to her about being confronted by Unique in the hallway the other day. Apparently Unique had called him out for messing with Marley's relationship and demanded he back off. Ryder used the term "dude" when addressing her and Unique wouldn't have any of that. She is a proud black woman but Ryder still sees her as a dude. Katie suggests he take his aggression out in song since it is "feud week" for glee club. 
   Marley can't take how Jake is ignoring her since she told him about the kiss between her and Ryder. She apologizes for not doing anything about it and for making it seem like the kiss was okay to happen in the first place. Marley reassures Jake that she loves him and isn't going to leave him for Ryder. Jake accepts her apology and says it is them against the world, especially Ryder. He thinks it is best to ice him out but Marley says she can't do that. He can stay mad at Ryder if he wants, but she needs to be more forgiving. Jake will just have to trust her. 
   Ryder and Unique perform their mash-up fued song inspired by Sir Elton John vs. Madonna. Blaine asks if they can reconcile after getting their anger out in the performance. Unique says she can forgive Ryder on one condition, he must admit she is a girl. Ryder looks at her confused and claims he's not sure. One day she is dressed like a boy, the next like a girl. He tells her to make up her mind. She looks at him in disgust and recites a truly brilliant line, "It doesn't matter what you see, you don't get to decide for me." Excuse me Ryder, you've just been served.
   Ryder resorts to his online romance and vents about how he feels about Unique. She enlightens him about knowing the truth without any proof and he finally develops a different perspective of his glee comrade. 
   After school, Marley finds Finn packing his things from his office. She asks if he is really leaving and when he nods his head yes, she hands him a goodbye card. Marley asks if she can speak freely, and tells him that he just needs to grow a pair. Thank you! He's feeling bad about himself and he can't let this school define him. He is a born leader and a great teacher. He should just go out there and get a teaching license! We couldn't agree more.

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   The next day Ryder asks Marley, Jake, and Unique to meet with him in a classroom. He apologizes for being out of line with Marley, breaking Jake's trust, and for not supporting Unique's truth. Unique accepts and mentions how after school that day, she was almost jumped by a group of bitches. At that moment it was decided, they all...including Kitty (oddly enough) are going to be there for each other. Friends forever!?
   Ryder chats again with Katie online and thanks her for all of her help. He asks if they can finally meet up, but moments later...Katie appears offline. Dun Dun Dun.... I'm pretty sure we all know how this is going to end but is it still possible to try and hold on to that glimmer of hope that this girl is who she says she is? What do you think? Sound off in the comments below!





Cheeri-Hell No:
   Coach Sylvester is determined to have Blaine rejoin the cheerios since cheerleading regionals is fast approaching. She forges his signature on a contract and when that doesn't work, she threatens him. He refuses but we all know what happens with Sue doesn't get her way. Sue Sylvester doesn't fuck around.

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   The next day, Blaine finds Coach Sylvester and is livid! According to him, a gift from her he thought was hair gel was actually cement, his identity was stolen ruining his parent's credit for at least seven years, and a sign was flown across the sky reading, "Blaine is on the bottom". He challenges her to a sing off, Mariah Carey vs. Nicki Minaj. So who won the feud-off? Minaj -umm- Sylvester of course. With that, Blaine is forced to join the cheerios and this is one commitment he cannot break. Blaine is approached by Sam after leaving Coach Sylvester's office to put on his cheerios uniform. It appears this was all part of a plan to take down the cheerios from the inside. Hmm...very clever Blaine, fooled us.

The Psychic Mexican Third Eye is Never Wrong:
   Santana takes Rachel to a woman's clinic and learns that the pregnancy was a false alarm. Hallelujah! Rachel is relieved and is ready to move past this small set back but Santana brings her back to reality. She needs to step back and take a good hard look at the decisions she has been making lately, starting with her boyfriend who Santana has blessed with the nickname "Donkey Face". Hmm...actually, if you squint your eyes...

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   So where is Rachel's boo? We see Mr. Sneaky Pants at a fancy hotel lobby catching the attention of an older woman who he brings in to a hotel room. Oh and miss, he only accepts cash. That's it, suspicions are finally confirmed; Brody is a male escort/prostitute/gigilo!
   Santana comes back to the apartment and notices that Brody's stuff is still there. Rachel informs her that Brody admitted to getting a cater waiter job and was too embarrassed to tell them at first. Bogus! Santana doesn't buy it and asks what happened to the Rachel Barry she went to high school with. Rachel is a soggy mess of a woman who is going between her high school ex and a sneaky liar. Rachel doesn't want to hear it and leaves the loft. Santana seizes the opportunity and grabs Brody's beeper from the bathroom as he takes a shower. One step closer to discovering the truth. Brody darling, your days are numbered.
   Santana surprises Brody in the dance room at school and claims she knows he is up to something sketchy and if there is one thing that Santana is other than loud, rude, and full of attitude...it's a fierce friend. She threatens that if he doesn't move out of the apartment tonight, she will dig deeper and destroy him. Ooo...here come the chills. Brody believes she is all talk and no proof but clearly he doesn't know Santana like we do.
   Later that evening Santana returns to the loft and is thrilled to tell Rachel and Kurt about her new bartending job at the Coyote Ugly bar. Rachel and Kurt ask her to sit down and join them for a loft conversation. Brody had called them earlier and told them about Santana's performance at school. They aren't too happy about it and tell her they want her to move out. Santana admits that although Rachel and Kurt cause her breasts to ache in rage, she loves them and they are family and they have to trust that she is right. Unfortunately for her, Brody was there first and since Santana can't lay off Brody...she has to move out. 

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   Brody is back at the hotel and is walking to a room to meet a client. He opens the door, turns on the light, and realizes it is Santana sitting on the bed. 1st GASP! Brody begs her not to tell Rachel but she brushes him off and says to save it. He has someone else to worry about. Cue Finn walking out of the bathroom. 2nd GASP! Finn is looking ferocious and demands Brody disappear out of Rachel's life like a ghost without saying goodbye. Brody refuses and grabs Finn by the collar before he can walk out. Finn turns around and gives him a huge blow to the head. A fight ensues and the victor is Finn. He growls, "Stay away from my future wife"...like a boss.
   

CHECK OUT NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE RIGHT HERE:

RECAP: The Carrie Diaries 1x9 - "The Great Unknown"

Last week's episode of The Carrie Diaries left viewers shocked when Carrie was told she could never step foot in Manhattan ever again. That's madness! That's like a book with no words, or a cookie without chocolate chips or worse...a shoe without a heel. Carrie belongs in the city just like viewers belong on their couches watching this week's episode. The unknown if a fearful thing but if we don't try, we are hindering ourselves from living! That is the lesson in this episode and after today, three characters will take the leap of faith.

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Make Way for "Kyddshaw":
   It's been a few weeks since Carrie has last seen the city and Interview magazine. Luckily she has her new beau Sebastian Kydd to keep her preoccupied. Now that Carrie has more time to spend at school, she learns that everyone has been calling her and Sebastian, "Kyddshaw". She doesn't mind the nickname and why would she, it's adorable! She and Sebastian are getting along swimmingly and even Sebastian doesn't want to ruin it by bringing Carrie home past curfew while out on dates. He offers chilly Carrie his leather jacket, but for some reason Carrie protests. After she is dropped off, she invites Mouse over and cries to her about her relationship with Sebastian. Did Sebastian break up with her? Is he talking to Donna behind her back? Nope, Carrie simply tells her the unexpected. Sebastian tried to give her his coat, they have a nickname at school, he bought her her favorite kind of chocolates, and he has a house account at the diner for french fries! What a monster. Carrie likes him, she is falling for him...but she is scared because this time she has something to lose. She doesn't want to fall off the cliff Wile E. Coyote style. Mouse remind her that Sebastian likes her too but Carrie can't help but worry for how long. What if her heart isn't strong enough for love? She contemplates breaking up with him but you can't sabotage a great relationship for fear of a broken heart. That is tomfoolery. Mouse suggests Carrie keep the relationship light and fun, but has she met Carrie? Good luck with that.
   The next day at school, Sebastian asks Carrie if she wants to hang out around town tomorrow but Carrie tells him she has to take Dorrit to the library. Play it by ear? Sebastian is stunned because normally Carrie likes to plan things ahead of time. She tells him she is loosey-goosey and they'll just see what happens.
   Tomorrow has arrived and Carrie's dad Tom is going to a raqcuetball tournament this weekend and reminds Carrie that Manhattan is off limits. Duh dad. After he leaves, Carrie takes Dorrit to the library to research her favorite date in history for a school assignment. So what date did she choose? She refuses to answer just yet. The girls return back to the house after xeroxing a bunch of newspapers. Sebastian pops over out of the blue so Dorrit decides it is best to take refuge in her room. Carrie and Sebastian "watch a movie" or in teen speak, make-out on the couch while Dorrit has punk music blasting upstairs. Carrie goes to her room to ask her to turn it down but finds that Dorrit has snuck out. 
   Carrie is worried and calls a bunch of Dorrit's friends but has no luck. Sebastian joins her and looks over a bunch of the articles Dorrit copied for her assignment. He notices that she is really interested in The Sex Pistos and Sid Vicious. In fact, he points out that the date Dorrit chose was October 12, 1978...the date Sid Vicious killed his girlfriend at the Chelsea Hotel in Manhattan. Sebastian believes Dorrit must be at the hotel because she probably wanted to be at the scene of the crime to be a part of it like a real fan. He suggests they head over to Manhattan to go get her. Carrie is worried Sebastian could be wrong but what other choice does she have?
   Carrie has difficulty searching for the train schedule in the kitchen and assumes Dorrit must have taken it. Sebastian proposes they drive so they'll get to the city in half the time. Carrie freaks and says she will go alone because Sebastian has already caused enough problems. If she hadn't let him inside after showing up unannounced, she wouldn't have been distracted enough to miss Dorrit slip out of the house. Sebastian is taken off guard and is very confused by Carrie's reaction. He's only trying to help.

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   Carrie takes a train into the city and a cab over to the Chelsea Hotel. She climbs the staircase in search of her sister and is surprised to see her standing next to Sebastian. Sebastian explains he decided to do things his way and that driving was much faster than the train. He walks to his car and leaves Carrie to scold Dorrit for sneaking out without a word. Carrie asks Dorrit why she is so fascinated with the love story between Sid Vicious and his girlfriend, considering they both died. Dorrit justifies that Romeo and Juliet died too and that was the most romantic love story ever. Sid and Nancy were two artists filled with passion who couldn't live without each other. But wait, didn't Sid stab her with a knife? Dorrit defends him and says it was because he loved her so much. Oh, well that makes perfect sense! Dorrit's sisterly instinct kicks in and she asks Carrie why she is so afraid. Dorrit admits that when their mother died, she promised herself that she would live big, even if it was scary. Carrie confesses to feeling the opposite. She feels she must be careful with everything and everyone because anything could go wrong at any point. Dorrit rationalizes that she shouldn't care, otherwise she'd just stop living. With new words of wisdom, Carrie leaves Dorrit to take a few more pictures before they leave, but not before Dorrit tells Carrie that "dreamboat" (Sebastian) is way cooler than she expected. Sister's seal of approval.

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   Carrie finds Sebastian waiting at his car outside. She thanks him for not bailing on her when she yelled at him. He informs her that he is always going to be there for her, but all Carrie can think is for how long. She admits she wanted to keep it easy-breezy but that is just not who she is. She is complicated, maybe even a little weird, and terrified. Sebastian comes clean and says he is terrified too and for some reason that makes Carrie and him feel a sense of relief. Things could go wrong and there are no guarantees but Carrie doesn't care anymore. She's got the guy and the guy has got her.








Let the Cube-Off Commence:

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   At school, Mouse is focused on completing a rubik cube for the second time. She has a small crowd surrounding her at the lockers but is struggling to figure it out. A jock by the name of West comes along trying to get to his locker behind Mouse. She refuses to move because she is currently in the zone. West takes a gander at the rubik cube in Mouse's hands and states he has never seen a rubik cube before and asks Mouse if she'd mind him trying it out. She hands it over to him and as she explains the concept to him, he completes the rubik cube in a matter of seconds. Everyone is stunned and Mouse is impressed but suspicious that a jock could figure it out before her. He claims it's beginner's luck but could it be more than that?
   Mouse goes to the main office to help a teacher file student paperwork for extra credit. She snoops through the file cabinet and finds West's transcript. She investigates through it and discovers she is #2 behind West as the smartest in the school.
   Mouse is at school on a Saturday working a bake sale for the blind and spots West in the halls. She confronts him and asks what he is doing there. He declares he is always here Saturday mornings bringing food to the senior citizen home. So he's a do-gooder too!? She mentions to him that he has the #1 spot in the class but not to get too comfortable because she will be taking it from him. He tells her to admit he is better than her but she refuses to accept it. West challenges her to a cube-off at the diner to see who is smarter. Mouse's competitive attitude strikes and she accepts the challenge.
   Mouse isn't taking this cube-off lightly. She prepares for the cube-off at the diner before West gets there. When he finally arrives, it's game time. Eye of the tiger!

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   The cube-off is over and it appears Mouse is the victor. West may not appreciate Mouse's idea of sportsmanship but does acknowledge the fact that he is impressed with her capabilities. He says he has to leave to pick up his little brother because his mom works nights to provide for them since their dad left. So let's get this straight. West is from a single-mother home, Black, an athlete, and a genius!? He calls himself a college admissions unicorn, and Mouse is a non-athletic Asian math genius with two parents...in other words, a dime a dozen. He wins after all and tells Mouse to wave goodbye to Princeton and Harvard because those are his. Oh snap, fighting words. Mouse refuses to accept defeat and decides to take up golf to further compete with West.




Out of the Closet and into a Friendship:
   Mouse and Carrie are still bewildered at how well things are going between Walt and Donna since they started dating after the school lock-in. Even Donna is amazed how great things are going between them. She swears this is the best relationship she's ever been in because she feels she can be herself around him. Maggie has been faking sick all of last week to avoid seeing the new couple in school. While she did fuck up pretty bad, you can't help but feel bad for her. No one wants to see their ex hooking up with their new boy/girlfriend in front of you. Rough business. 
   After a fun time shopping together, Donna proposes they have sex for the first time. Walt is nervous and tells her he doesn't want to rush this because he doesn't want their relationship to be all about sex. He wants to get to really know her before they take the next step. Donna finds this a bit strange considering any guy would jump at the opportunity but she actually kind of likes the idea.

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   Although Donna originally liked the idea of waiting, she is one horny chick and so she tries to seduce Walt with a sexy outfit. Clearly he has no interest and makes it apparent when he accidentally pushes her off the bed when she tries to mount him. She demands to know why he is choosing a movie over her and blatantly asks if he is even interested in girls. 
   Walt finally comes out about liking girls, but not wanting to bang them. In other words, he is not straight. Donna is very supportive and admits she had her suspicions when Walt refused to have sex with her. Donna still wants to hang out with him, but just as friends. She's a girl who needs a good dicking once in a while. She promises to keep his secret and never to tell a soul. She asks if he's gay but Walt isn't quite sure because he has never been with a guy. She then asks if he could be and when he doesn't answer, she confirms that he could trust her because her older brother is gay and her dad would freak if he ever found out. Her brother lives in L.A. now and is happy. Walt is relieved to have finally shared his secret with someone and is surprised and happy that it was with Donna. Adorbs.

What Kind of Father are You Going to be?
   Carrie's dad Tom has gotten into racquetball as of late and has caught the eye of an aerobics instructor at the gym. She puts on the moves, pretty hard-core, and invites him to her office to check out her aerobics schedule. She starts to kiss his neck and chest and poor Tom looks uncomfortable but is no doubt enjoying the situation. 
   He confides in Harlan about the incidence while they practice for their racquetball match. Harlan suggests Tom ask for another one to which Tom replies he didn't even ask for the first one. I'm going to assume here that they are discussing blow jobs. Tom you little devil you. Should he ask her out, send her flowers, return the favor? Harlan tells him things have changed and it's okay to let it go and play it casual. Out of nowhere, Larissa shows up at the raquetball courts. Apparently she and Harlan have been having crazy sex for weeks since the party at Limelight. Tom is shocked that his friend is dating the woman who abducted his daughter. 

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   Tom and Larissa have a nice private chat together up until his late wife is brought up in conversation. He tells her that he doesn't want to talk about his wife with someone who took advantage of his daughter. Larissa explains she didn't know Carrie was 16 but loves Carrie because she cared and was passionate. She continues saying Interview magazine comments on the world and is more than just fun. Tom cuts her off and clarifies that Carrie had a great internship at a law firm and that he bets Larissa didn't know Carrie wants to be a lawyer. Larissa laughs, as do we, and claims he has no idea who his daughter is or what she wants. Tom is offended and says she was a good kid with real dreams before she came to Manhattan. Larissa calls him out and says that just because Carrie's dreams aren't his dreams doesn't mean they are not real. He identifies that his job as a father is to keep Carrie safe. Larissa, so wise beyond her years, informs him that his job is to let Carrie become the person she wants to be. Carrie is a girl that is going to grow up and he can't stop that. She reveals that Carrie is a hell of a writer and is able to write about the world in a very special way. She has a voice, let her use it. Tom starts to calm down and discusses how difficult it is to make a living doing something like that, nearly impossible. He doesn't want her to be disappointed. Larissa reminds him that if he doesn't let Carrie explore the world and figure out what she wants to be, she'll never become the person she is supposed to be. Someone who is happy and loves who she is. She blatantly asks him, what kind of father are you going to be? I think we can all agree that Tom got seriously owned by Larissa. She's like the older sister we all want...or at least, I want. Hollah at me girl!
   Carrie's dad returns home after having to forfeit the match so Harlan wouldn't miss a date. Tom expresses that it wasn't the day he was expecting but it worked out alright. Later that evening he catches Carrie writing in her diary. He sits her down and asks to talk. He tells her he doesn't want to live in fear and he doesn't want her to live in fear either. He has had a change of heart about Manhattan and Interview magazine. He wants her to pursue her dreams and to figure out who she is and who she wants to be...but there will be rules and he will be watching her like a hawk. Blazing fireworks! He has seen the light! 

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   Carrie is back at her fabulous internship and still can't believe Larissa convinced her dad to let her work there again. Neither Larissa or her father told her what transpired between them but it didn't matter, all that mattered was that she was back.
   While Tom embraces his sex-capades with the aerobics instructor, back at school Carrie and Mouse are conversing over the latest rumor to hit the hallways. Donna and Walt broke up and word on the street says it is because Walt's penis was too big for Donna to handle. Nicely done Donna dear. Walt will never be looked at the same way. Walt says he's okay after the break up but admits that Donna is a lot cooler than he expected. We're right there with ya Walt!

CHECK OUT NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE RIGHT HERE:

RECAP: Girls 2x9 - "On All Fours"

This week's episode takes viewers for a loop. Couples we had hoped the best for may be coming to an end and Hannah's OCD has continued to cause concern. Marnie hasn't given up on singing, so what happens when you sing "Stronger" by Kanye West at your ex-boyfriend's office party? Lots and lots of pity. 



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Play Secretary on the Boss Tonight:   
   Shoshanna is suspiciously acting extra nice to Ray back at the apartment. She says it is because he is her boyfriend and she cares about him but we all really know what's up. She is feeling a lot of guilt after hooking up with that door man at her friend's apartment building. Marnie is still gun-ho on becoming a singer and asks Ray for his help laying down a track on Garage Band. He says no but reconsiders when Shoshanna asks him to help her friend.
   Later that day Marnie stops by Charlie's office and yells at him for forgetting their concrete lunch plans. He apologizes but Marnie doesn't want to hear it. He feels bad so he invites her to an office party celebrating reaching 20,000 MAUs (monthly average users).
   The office party is jammin' and even I want to be there. Shoshanna and Ray arrive and commend Charlie for being in a stupidly grown-up office. Things are obviously tense between Ray and Charlie and it could be assumed that it is because Charlie has become successful over night. So long bromance.


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   Marnie gets to the party but can't seem to locate Charlie. She finds Ray and asks him to be honest with her about her voice. She has special plans for tonight and it is important that he tell her the truth. He concedes that her voice is Katy Perry great and not to worry. Compliment? With that new burst of encouragement, Marnie takes to the DJ and has him change I-Pods. She announces to the crowd that she has planned a special surprise for everyone to celebrate their premature success. Charlie looks anything but excited and things get only more awkward once Marnie starts to sing a piano version of "Stronger" by Kanye West. Embarassed, Charlie grabs Marnie after her performance and leads her into his office. He snaps at her and tells her she needs to get her shit together because she is flailing. He asks what he can do to help but she is convinced she is good and on her own journey. She doesn't need nor want his pity. Charlie lunges forward to kiss her and gives her what we can assume is a good old fashioned pity fuck on his desk.
   Shoshanna is avoiding Ray and it hasn't gone unnoticed. Ray confronts her about it and asks what is going on. Shoshanna admits...almost the truth and explains to him that she held the door man's hand. Lies! He laughs and asks if she still wants to be with him. She says of course and Ray gives her a big hug as he tells her he loves her.
 
A Jack & Ginger Please:
   Natalia and Adam are really hitting it off. The two have continued going on dates and Natalia finally consents to them having sex for the first time. They start to make out but the moment is interrupted when Natalia blurts out she is on the pill but would like Adam to come outside her and she doesn't like to be on top very often or stop touching because it tickles her and takes her out of the moment. Adam complys and is happy that she is so clear with him. It's official, he is her boyfriend and she is his girlfriend.

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   Natalia decides to bring her new boyfriend Adam to her friend's engagement party. She asks Adam if he minds her drinking a bit tonight and of course Adam says it's alright. Adam has never been one to make friends easily so while Natalia is at the bar, he steps outside the party to get some fresh air from the awkward setting. He spots Hannah walking down the street. She approaches him and says it's funny they ran into each other. She asks what he is doing there and he informs her that his girlfriend's friend got engaged. Hannah is noticeably shocked but is happy for him. Adam realizes he can't handle this run in with Hannah and heads back inside after saying goodbye mid-conversation. He races over to Natalia sitting at the bar and orders a jack & ginger. Natalia is surprised and asks if he is sure he wants alcohol. Adam confirms his desire and just wants to have a nice time with her. The two love birds drunkenly hit the dance floor and a nice time they have indeed.

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   Adam takes Natalia back to his place for the first time. Natalia is a bit overwhelmed and suggests he organize the place in the future because it is dark and depressing. The atmostphere however, doesn't change how she feels about him. Adam looks into her eyes and commands Natalia to get on all fours and crawl to his bedroom. She looks a bit concerned but humors him. She makes it to the doorway before Adam grabs her and throws her on the bed. He asserts that he wants to fuck her from behind, and he does. Natalia is no doubt uncomfortable, especially when Adam starts to eat her ass out. Gross. He quickly finishes on top of her chest and Natalia is clearly perturbed. She says she didn't like that at all and so Adam asks if she is done with him. I'm gonna take a stab in the dark here and guess that Adam is sabotaging his relationship with Natalia for fear that she will break his heart like Hannah did.



The Q-Tip Calamity:

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   Hannah's OCD hasn't gotten any better, especially on her way to her editor to discuss the pages she submitted for the e-book. He wastes no time telling her that he didn't know who was writing the pages and found them lacking any sexual failure or pudgy face liquid semen and sadness. Whatever that means. He has an epiphany and suggests her to make it up if she isn't getting fucked currently. Great encouragement.

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   Back at her apartment, Hannah is struggling to write more edgier and sexier content. She takes a break to clear out her head with a Q-tip that she accidentally sticks way too far into her ear. She screams in agony and gives her parents a call telling them about the incident. She is worried she has damaged her ear and thinks it may be best to go to the hospital.
   She makes it to the emergency room where the doctor condescends her for "digging for gold". He removes the Q-tip and finds blood at the end of it. He checks her ear for any damage but has difficulty seeing anything through all the blood. He puts in some ear drops for her which she finds extremely uncomfortable. The doctor couldn't care less and hands over the Q-tip per Hannah's request.
   Alone in her apartment with the fatal Q-tip, she begins to clean the other ear out. Someone has got it bad.

CHECK OUT THE SEASON 2 FINALE RIGHT HERE:



RECAP: Once Upon a Time 2x16 - "The Miller's Daughter"

Love, betrayal, and death all wrapped up with a pretty bow. This week the lives of few will come crashing down while others must face the consequences of their decisions. Pasts will be dissected, the unsuspecting will be deceived, and a life will be lost. 

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Fairy tale Flashback:
   Young (?) Cora is working hard at her father's mill delivering flour to the kingdom. As she walks through the castle with bags of flour, the young princess Ava...Snow's mother...purposely trips her with her foot and plays it off as though Cora was a clumsy peasant. Damn, what a bitch. The king tells Cora she will not receive any pay for her actions and commands her to kneel and apologize to the princess otherwise her father will lose their business. Cora does so and is directed to stay knelt on the ground until they pass because that is where she belongs. 

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   Cora gets all dolled up and attends a masquerade held in the castle. She catches the attention of Prince Henry with her sarcasm and charm. The two start to dance but are suspended by the King who cuts in. He easily recognizes Cora and demands she leave because she has nothing to offer the royal family other than strands of straw. She informs him that he is wrong and that she can turn straw into gold but because of his insults, he won't receive any of her talents. As she walks away, the king grabs her by the arm and announces in front of everyone at the ball that this woman claims she can turn straw into gold. He asks her to demonstrate but Cora claims she needs time to gather her thoughts. The king proclaims that Cora will spend the night locked up in the castle tower with heaps of straw. If she can turn it all into gold by the morning, she will marry the prince but if she should fail, she will die. No pressure right? If only they had access to online DIYs or tutorials.
   Held up in the tower with piles of straw and a spin wheel, Cora is startled to find a Rumpelstiltskin with her. He says it's a coincidence she is in this predicament and he is present because spinning straw into gold is one of his favorite hobbies. He demonstrates for her and Cora is instantly captivated. He notifies her that he will help her because in doing so, she will be helping him. The future will be his gift. She is cautious and questions what he'll need from her before she can receive his help. He hands her over a contract that reads she must give up her first born child to him. He tells her that she is most important. Cora asks him to teach her how to weave the gold rather than just do it for her and requests it be part of their deal. Rumpel is taken back but loves how feisty her spirit is.

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   Cora is getting frustrated during her gold spinning attempts. Rumpel tells her to focus on her emotions and to visualize a moment where someone made her so angry she would have killed them if she could. She tries to spin the straw again and recites the moment she was tripped and forced to kneel and apologize for doing nothing wrong. It was then she realized that no matter how hard she tried or how hard she worked, she was never gong to be more than she was now. She tells Rumpel as he kisses and nuzzles her neck that she wants to make them bow before her and their necks to break from it. She soon realizes that she has finally done it. The straw has turned to gold. The next morning, she performs the gold spinning method in front of the kingdom and is told she has earned the prince's hand. Prince Henry kneels before her and asks for her hand in marriage. Obviously she says yes.
   Cora is up in her bed chambers trying on her wedding gown when Rumpel appears. The two smooch- eww!- and apparently have a thing going on between them. She admits that all her life she has wanted this but now she sees it differently. She turns to him and asks what he has to offer her. Rumpel replies he can provide darkness and love to which Cora asserts she wants. Rumpel suggests updating their agreement so that Cora will give up her first born child with Rumpel rather than with a random stranger. Cora agrees and requests one thing in return. She wants the king dead for humiliating her and wants to show him his heart as she crushes it. Rumpel is mesmerized by her passion and agrees to show her how to snatch someone's heart out of their chest. They seal the promise with a kiss.

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   Cora finds the king counting his newly strung gold and admits to him that she does not love his son. The king tells her that it doesn't matter and that love is weakness. He gives Cora the choice to run off with the evil imp she thinks no one knows about in the name of love or to stay and stand next to his son, wearing a crown and having citizens bow at her feet. She replies that if the choice is love or power, then having a heart is quite the liability. She arrives back at her bedroom holding her beating heart inside a small wooden chest.

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   Cora meets Rumpel deep in the forest late that night. She greets him with a kiss but he can tell something is wrong. She admits that she was able to take the king's heart out but chose not to. She reveals she is not going with Rumpel because she has her wedding to attend. She shows him the box with her heart inside. Apparently her heart was stopping her from getting what she wanted. Rumpel catches on that she never loved him and is very angry. He tells her that she will still have to give up her first born child but Cora corrects him and reminds him that they had changed the contract earlier to him taking his first born child with Cora. There and then she informs him that they will never have a child together.
   Regina is finally born and the kingdom bows at Cora's feet as she presents the future queen.

One Life for Another:

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   Cora and Regina have been wire-tapping phone calls between Mary Margaret and David and know that Gold and Emma are on their way back to Storybrooke. Cora takes a look at the dagger and notices Rumpelstiltskin's name starting to vanish. She says that he is dying and if his name disappears completely from the dagger, all that power will wither away and there will be no new dark one. Game time. Cora states that she must stab Gold with the dagger and take his powers for her own. She will be the new dark one and all that power will be hers. Regina protests and says Henry will never forgive them and that the whole point is...wait, what is the point? Cora assures her it is for the good and protection of the family.
   David, Ruby and Mary Margaret run to the docks to greet Emma, Henry, Neal and the injured Gold. Ruby volunteers to take care of Henry while the group brings Gold to his shop. Mary Margaret is determined to stop Cora and to have her killed but David thinks they need to think this through. It cannot be done by her and not with vengeance because her heart is pure and that is who she is and that is how she will stay. Right?
   Gold is brought back to his shop and has Emma search for something important. She comes back with an empty jar but hears clinking as she shakes it around. Inside the jar is an invisible piece of chalk that Gold has her use to draw a line across the front doorway. He suggests the group prepare for battle and as they walk away, he asks Mary Margaret to grab him a warmer blanket from the cabinet. She checks inside but instead finds the dark magic candle from her past. She asks why he has this and he explains that the candle will save him. Snow is puzzled and wants to know why he thinks she would use it for him when she couldn't use it for her own mother. He tells her that she is all grown up now and for once their interests are aligned. Cora will die instead of Gold. Gold divulges that Cora's heart is out of her body and all Mary Margaret needs to do is find the heart and curse it with the candle. Simple right? Well the next step requires her to put the cursed heart back into Cora's body. In doing so, she will die and Gold will live. Emma enters the tension-filled room and asks what the next step is. Gold responds he is relying on Emma to perform a protection spell. Emma is unsure she can do it but Gold believes in her. He demands she stop thinking and use her emotions. Magic is not about intellect, it is about emotion. Emma concentrates hard and the shop front entrance is magically protected. 

   Mary Margaret is keeping the candle a secret from David. She believes using it must be done to protect their family. Regina and Cora arrive outside Gold's shop and use their magic to break through the protection spell with ease. As they enter the shop, the battle begins. Magic vs. swords? They have gotta be kidding themselves. Mary Margaret slips out the back in search for Cora's heart as the mother and daughter duo make their way through the lot as smooth as melted butter, causing the group to fly in several directions. Emma and Neal manage to find refuge in the back room where Gold is hiding and use the chalk to quickly form another protection spell. Cora starts to feel faint and realizes that someone is in Regina's family tomb meddling with her heart. She orders Regina to go see what is going on and to leave Rumpel to her. 

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   David wakes up outside the shop and gives Emma a call on her cell phone. She is alright but Mary Margaret is no where to be found. Mary Margaret is on the hunt for Cora's heart in Regina's family tomb and is determined to find it. She finally spots the beating heart inside a small box held within an old chest. She pulls the box out and unveils the heart. Mary Margaret is briefly uncertain but quickly regains her momentum. She lights the candle, holds it over the vulnerable heart, and whispers Cora's name. 
   Neal and Emma are with Gold trying to protect him from Cora who is trying to break through the protection spell. Neal can tell the spell is getting weaker, so Gold asks to speak with Belle before facing his doom. Emma gives him her cell phone and Gold dials her number. Belle picks up and reminds him that she doesn't remember him. He comprehends this but informs her that he is dying. He realizes that Belle may not remember who she is but he is gong to tell her. Cue one of the most heartfelt speeches of the series and a sure-fire tear jerker. 

"You are a hero who helped your people. You're a beautiful woman who loved an ugly man; really really loved me. You find goodness in others and when it's not there, you create it. You made me wanna go back to the best version of me and that never happened before. So when you look in the mirror and you don't know who you are, that's who you are."

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Emma and Neal are surprised Gold had that kind of love in him. He confesses to Neal that he has spent a lifetime looking for him and for a chance to stay "I love you." Gold apologizes and Neal opens up that he didn't know Gold could go back on their deal. Gold reaches out for Neal's hand and Neal finally takes the plunge. Apology accepted. 
   Regina finds Mary Margaret holding Cora's heart in a box down in the tomb. She tells Regina that she was returning it to her and that Cora can't love her without a heart. Perhaps Cora can love her now that she has it back. Regina is suspicious but takes the heart from her. David finally finds Mary Margaret, head in hands, outside Regina's family tomb. She tells him that he was right and that this wasn't her. 
   The name on the dagger is fading quickly and Cora has had it up to here. She finally destroys the protection barrier and uses her power to transport Emma and Neal outside the town. Rumpel is weak but strong enough to ask Cora if she ever loved him. She replies, "Why do you think I had to rip my own heart out?". He was her weakness and he was the only man she ever truly loved. 

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   Cora raises the dagger over Rumpel about to strike when Regina appears behind her and thrusts the heart into Cora. Cora is quickly overcome with extreme joy over seeing her daughter. Just as fast, Cora falls to the ground as Rumpel uncovers his bandage to see his would has healed. As Regina holds her dying mother on the ground, Cora tells her, "This would have been enough. You would have been enough". And here comes the tears. Cora is gone and Rumpel is back. Mary Margaret and David run into the shop and beg Regina to stop, but they are too late. Regina looks up and knows that this was all Snow's doing. Regina's hatred for Snow is in full force and all hell is about to break loose.
   

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